March 2012
61 posts
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February 2012
66 posts
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When I lower it down, I let you fade away.
I try to believe that I have good elevator etiquette. I wait for people to get off of the elevator before I get on it, and when I am inside I attempt to take up as little room as possible. But my problem stems from the fact that when an elevator arrives to my floor, I always assume that it’s going to way I want it to go. But it never is. If I press the up button, an elevator arrives and I...
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This morning I threw up fire.
Most people probably hope that their child comes into this world without any genetic deformities. I was talking to a friend over dinner about the topic of children, and she said that she wants her child to be smart, too. At first I agreed. I would love if I had an intelligent child who could function and use logic to solve problems.
After dinner in a late night class, we got our exam grades back....
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That's what I say.
My family signed another two year contract with Verizon, and everyone upgraded to iPhones at home, but since I’m here at university I still have this non-iPhone. To be honest, I am not even a big fan of smart phones. I just need my phone to text and to call and I don’t even need it to browse the internet. However, something that frustrates me about this phone is that it cannot record...
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Stones in your eyes, stones in your mouth.
Sometimes I look through somebody’s facebook photo album, and they’re smiling in every picture. Not like, super lame “forced smiles because the camera is out,” but more so “genuine caught in the moment of loving life” type smiles, and I don’t know. It’s just pretty much the most attractive and beautiful thing in the world (well, at least on...
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We don't care to walk.
I met up with my girlfriend during my lunch break, but she had already purchased our meals. If you have not noticed, I am very particular with what I eat. She knows this. And when I sit down the first thing she says is that “they put sour cream on your burrito.” My immediate knee jerk reaction is “you are so bad at living,” “who raised you?” and...
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But it hurts my hands.
I’ve always had soft hands. Not the callused gross man hands of the working class. But now that I am working, I can see it and I can feel it. The composition of the skin on my hands is changing. And it’s just so sad. Because my hands aren’t getting rough from doing construction work or anything. It’s these damn copying machines. When the paper comes out it’s so hot....
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He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
In the beginning of the semester I ran into a girl that I used to stick my penis into. We were walking towards each other on the sidewalk, and of course she had a new man interest in her life, and she was holding his hand, but his hand was bandaged, and as we got close to each other she looked me in the face and then really squeezed on his hand and then he flipped out and exclaimed “you know...
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Princess of China.
I just started really getting into these two relatively new music artists called “Rihanna” and “Coldplay.” And I’ve got to say, I think both are pretty amazing. I’ll definitely have to look into picking up some of their cds. A few days ago, they actually just released a new collaborative single onto the mainstream airwaves. What are the chances? And guess what...
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Fall on your knees.
I was trying to show somebody a video of a girl blowing a candy cane, and in order to do so I had to open my tumblr account go through my “archive” and as I was browsing through my old posts trying to find this video this dude was like “you take a lot of unclothed photographs” and you know, he’s absolutely right. If you compared the number of pictures of myself on...
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RE: Reblogs are stupid
I guess you can only reply to a post once? Weird. Then I got busy. But then I finished. This is a continuation of my reply to your post “I Will Follow You into the Dark” in which you express your adamant opposition to reblogging and the general lack of what you deem original content on tumblr. It should be mentioned that Tumblr is first and foremost a micro-blogging platform...
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I will follow you into the dark.
I like when I am scrolling down my dashboard and I come across a piece of writing, and read it and like it, and I realize that I know exactly who wrote it without seeing the picture icon to the left, or the name that is at the top of the post because that person has his or her own identifiable style.
I dislike when I am scrolling down my dashboard and I come across somebody begging for attention...
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"If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who...
As much as I’d love to be able to agree with the main character from my favourite book, I am going to have to respectfully disagree with the imaginary Holden Caulfield here. I understand that some people might have personal issues that two hours of hair and makeup might alleviate, but I can only wish that one day you will not feel the need to spend that kind of time refining a beauty that is...
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And we'll pray that they turn to seeds, to roots...
The daily calorie count. I got a McDouble and a McChicken, and I thought. Hey. That’s enough of a meal for me. But then I was like, I could kind of use a large fries. I know that large fries is 500 calories, but I mean come on. I love potatoes. So I bought them. +500 calories to my body. And then on my way back to work on my lunch break, I still had 15 minutes to kill, so I stopped by a deli...
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I contemplate the day we wed.
It’s Valentine’s Day. Why not use that as a reason to write a sappy love blog. I am not going to see my girlfriend today because we go to different universities, and to be honest, this day doesn’t seem to mean as much to people in happy committed relationships as it appears to mean to bitter lonely people on the internet.
I am pretty much the worst boyfriend ever. The number of...
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Like only a best friend could.
Facebook is so dumb. I always just use it as a tool to keep in touch with friends. Share links. Post funny comments. Upload my photographs. But I hate when I receive serious messages from people on there. I wish that people could just talk to me in person, and have a real conversation with me, instead of just typing away furiously at the internet. I mean I know I run this blog to write about...
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So can I tie my key to your electric kite?
I shouldn’t judge people and I should be open minded about other people’s lifestyles, but it still just makes me sad how many people I see in public who can not function without giving their cellular devices all of their attention. If I see somebody walking, they’re playing with their phone. If I’m next to someone on a bus, they’re playing with their phone. And if...
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It's the greatest of love.
How do you know if you are crazy? Somebody once told me that only sane people question their sanity. Sometimes I don’t feel crazy. Is that a sign that I’ve gone mad?
I went to McDonalds today, and like usual there was an insane elderly person in there. You always see at least one of them either sitting in a seat and staring you in the face, or waddling around the restaurant making...
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Better off in two year stretches.
The last time I broke my camera was in August. When I got a new one, I got a 4 GB memory card to accompany it. And the inevitable has finally occurred. Last night at a social gathering, I was trying to take new photographs, and I couldn’t because six months later four gigabytes was no longer a sufficient amount of memory space. And I know I could very easily just format my memory card...
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So I update this almost every single day for you.
I have to decide what I am going to do this weekend. Should I get a ride home for free, so that I could go to a family birthday party, a friend’s birthday party, and see my friend’s band play live. Or should I stay here and recover from my illness, go to a sophomore year reunion social gathering, and get cash from my father.
Back to this sickness. Look what is going around, NJ...
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I'm on my way out.
I am going to graduate. It’s time to finalize my diploma. It doesn’t surprise me that four years have passed, because I am not an absent minded person. However, when I looked at the prototype of my diploma, I saw something I did not want to see. “Rutgers Business School - NWK/ NB.” I do not go to Rutgers Newark. I do not want Rutgers Newark on my diploma. I especially do...
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“According to Ms. Lewinski, she performed oral sex on the President on nine...”
– Independent Prosecutor’s Report
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Life is a test and I get bad marks.
I was lounging around my room in my underwear and then I suddenly just felt intuition that my professor was giving the class a pop quiz so I put on clothes and went to class, and I was right. She gave a pop quiz in the beginning of the class. Now that I was there and I was taking this pop quiz, I realized, that, all I’ve been doing for the past few days is sleeping, and I was completely...
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You constantly make it impossible to make...
During lunch:
Girl points to her own plate: “salad” Girl points to man’s plate: “salad” Girl points to my plate: “chicken, fries, and pasta.”
I look at the girl: “didn’t go to the gym today” I look at the boy: “didn’t go to the gym today” I point to myself: “went to the gym today.”
During a break in...