December 2010
19 posts
4 tags
4 tags
Zombie Strippers.
This movie blows. Seriously, who builds a strip joint in the same building as a military base equipped with a laboratory that does biohazardous experiments? At least we saw Robert Englund as a character who was not Freddy Kruegar. At least we got treated to superb dialogue such as “damn, that chick’s as cold as the dead flesh of a stripping zombie.” And that’s really all that this movie had to...
2 tags
2 tags
11pm to 8am shift.
Did you know that Old Navy merchandise is in such high demand that the store has to be open twenty-four hours around the holidays? The highlights of the night were every time that there were less customers in the store than I had penises.
Actually, I take that back. The highlights of the night were what people had to say to me after not seeing me for months.
The new manager is like “what...
1 tag
3 tags
Dear Stat Gods,
Today when I went to Brower there was a homeless minority inside of the corridor. She asked me if I had an extra guest swipe. I had to inform her that I did not because I had used them all on my girlfriend and Ana (who by the way has been another savior of mine throughout the semester in Statistical Methods for Business). I did however alert her that I could double swipe and get her a meal. I...
1150 Calories.
$7.99 at IHOP. Some sort of sampler. Two eggs, two pieces of toast, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage (that I swapped for bacon), and hash browns.
It’s astonishing how one mediocre meal can fulfill more than half of your calorie quota for the day.
2 tags
Is it liberating to be an open book?
I’m processing the information that my formspring stream is teaching me about you.
You’re pregnant.
You tell people what it’s like to have sex with a baby inside of you.
You talk about how much tequila you had the night you first met your baby’s daddy.
Your baby’s daddy is having sex with his ex-girlfriend while you’re together.
You’re keeping the...
3 tags
Topman.
All casual jackets, t-shirts, and shirts are 20% off. Followed by a student discount of 20% off. On top of that, free holiday shipping. Fuck you Uniqlo and your “seasonal” t-shirts. You’ve been ousted as my favourite clothing store.
2 tags
2 tags
Need more snow. Need exam cancellations.
I’ve been cramming for finals and I completely missed the snegopady. My lame consolation prize is getting to watch the snow turn dirty colours over the next few days, if it even sticks around for that long.
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2 tags
“It’s like taking food out of someone’s mouth.”
– Katie Rizzo
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Erikk! Why are you always M.I.A?
I was waiting for a good question 100 to retire formspring with. I’m a big plan maker. I’m always making plans for the next day, because if I don’t, when that next day rolls around, I’ll have nothing to do. To see me it’s as simple as going ‘this day we should do this.’ When it’s a vague ‘we should hang out’ that usually leads nowhere...
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Praying that my sister's phone has been stolen.
Me 10.10pm: Happy birthday, April. I hope you had a great day.
April 3.04am: Fuck u
Me 3.05am: What was that for?
April 3.55am: You text me earlyer with that bullshit
April 3.57am: Give me some pussy
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Principles of Management
I had only caught the middle of the question Gordon had addressed to the class: “_____ used this term to describe _____.” I was spaced out, the kids in the back of the class were asleep, the attentive kids were shy, and the rest of the class was apathetic. Grasping for any sort of participation he gave a hint: “L-F.” It’s going to sound crazy, but the way the...
2 tags
2 tags
I am so cold.
I could really use an alcohol blanket right now.