My best friend’s birthday was on Friday night. I knew that I couldn’t let myself drink too much because I had to leave at 4am to catch a flight. I could already imagine the newspaper headlines: boy blacks out in NJ and wakes up in LA. I held back and only purchased five or six drinks. I think.
I took a friend home with me to keep me awake and we ate pizza covered in buffalo sauce and played a copy of Resident Evil 5 that we found in a suburban 711. I knew that I should have pooped before my flight, but I didn’t want to go while my friend was in my apartment and I figured that I would have plenty of time to go during my three hour connection in Philadelphia.
Our first flight was delayed and we were going to miss our connection. No wonder the airline industry is tanking. Luckily we got put onto a direct flight into LA, with an earlier arrival time than our original booking.
We had to rush to catch that six and a half hour flight. There was no time to poop beforehand and I felt like it was poor etiquette to poop on a plane even during the additional forty-five minutes that we wound up being stalled on the runway. When we finally arrived in LA, I checked out their bathrooms and every stall was filled with a pooping man.
I wanted to go straight to our hotel, but the person that I flew with needed to go straight to In-N-Out Burger.
While at In-N-Out Burger, the employee at the counter was basically singing at us like she was Snow White and we were animals. Another customer came up to her and asked for napkins and she directed the consumer to the napkin stand. Then the employee’s boss came over and started reprimanding her for horrible customer service. Apparently this girl should have handed the customer napkins and asked her if she needed anything else.
As a New Yorker, I always get sick of hearing people rant about how rude we are because we are not. But wow, if the other places in the world are Disney musicals where customers are completely coddled, then now I can understand why tourists come to New York with such delusional mentalities about the way that the service industry is supposed to be.
I don’t know what I expected from In-N-Out Burger. I liked the small menu, especially for its prices and portion sizes, but the taste of the food itself was on par with McDonalds. At least McDonalds offers condiments like barbeque and buffalo sauce to spice up the meal. The only condiment that In-N-Out Burger had besides ketchup was “spread” which appeared to be the west coadt equivalent of mayonnaise. Yuck.
I finally made it to the hotel and I finally got to poop and my travel companion was like that In-N-Out Burger really went in and out, and I was like no. This is last night’s errors please put on headphones. We went to bed and I woke up at 5am because my body thinks it’s 8am EST and now I am bored out of my mind and starving.
Don’t expect a documentary. I didn’t think that I’d blog at all over these next few days, but here I am killing time before she wakes up and I can drag her somewhere to eat. That’s all that we seem to be doing in Los Angeles. Eating, sleeping, and of course, Brand New-ing.